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Thursday Morning Q&A with Dorothea Benton Frank

August 18th, 2011 by CMandel

We told you that this time things would be different on our blog and we’re keeping our promise. We want to bring you closer to the authors you love by showing you another side of them — their public speaking side. This is the first of what we hope to become a series on Podium 53…Q&As with your favorite authors.

So a little background: I graduated from the College of Charleston in South Carolina. Graduation day can be really nervewracking. I was lucky enough to have a graduation speaker who knew exactly how to calm our nerves — Dorothea “Dottie” Benton Frank. I was able to talk with Dottie and find out her experience being a graduation speaker. Oh, I almost forgot to mention that her son was a part of our graduating class! Did that make things easier? Let’s find out…

1. What was your first thought when the College of Charleston asked you to speak at graduation?

When the CofC asked me to speak at Will’s graduation I was thrilled and honored as any parent would be. But when I realized how emotional I would be watching my son graduate I became terrified. I didn’t want to burst out into tears and mortify him. Usually when I speak I don’t know many people in the crowd but on this occasion my entire family would be there. So I did what I could to control my anxiety by over-preparing. That ten minute talk was finished a month before the date.

2. Did the fact that your son was a part of the graduating class make giving the speech easier or harder?

The fact that William was in the crowd was great. I remember looking at his face and feeling this was a very special day for us — mother and son. I went over the talk with him because I didn’t want to say anything that would embarrass him. He was very cool about the entire event and even said how proud he was of me. More than once. Of course, I told him the same thing about a thousand times. But to your question, it was harder. It’s one thing to talk about your work but it’s another to deliver a talk that will entertain graduates and their families alike — varied generations.

3. Any advice for those who are afraid to speak publicly?

My advice is to prepare and practice and to remember that the people listening to you want you to do well. There’s nothing worse than an unprepared speaker. Pick out a friendly face on both sides of the room and play to them. And stay in the moment. When your adrenalin starts pumping, tell yourself to calm down and listen to every word that’s being spoken. Modulate your talk to advance with place to pause and take a breath. Relax and be yourself.

4. Did you face any pressures in trying to make your speech different and original from the typical graduation speech?

I listened to about fifty  commencement speeches on the internet and then decided the ones I liked the best were the ones where the speakers spoke from their hearts. Who wants to listen to somebody go on and on about how accomplished they are? What graduates want to know is how you got where you are. So talking about things like taking risks and maintaing personal credibility are very important.

5. You used a lot of humor in your speech. How do you determine when is the best time to use humor?

I use humor all the time. The best time to use it is when you want people to listen. Humor is an underrated but very powerful tool.

We would like to once again thank Dottie for her time and thoughtful answers!

To learn more about Dottie and her latest New York Times bestseller Folly Beach, go here.

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Public Speaking: It Doesn’t Have to Be Scary

August 16th, 2011 by CMandel

Okay, I’ll admit it. There was a time when I hated public speaking. I know, what an unusual thing to despise! Most people don’t like public speaking. If you’re someone who wants your heart to be fast, your palms to get clammy and your anxiety to be in full-force, then public speaking may be for you!

The way I got over public speaking was through a college course I was required to take. My first speech wasn’t a total trainwreck, but you wouldn’t mistake me for Aristotle either. After lots and lots of practicing, hours of listening to the Rocky theme song prior to class, and self-motivation, my last speech was a success.

Everyone has their own way of calming public speaking nerves and motivating themselves, including our speakers.

Mitchell Zuckoff, author of Lost in Shangri-La, describes his public speaking experiences including his appearance on The Daily Show:

“I’m pretty calm about speaking engagements (it must be all the time I spend in classrooms with my students). As for motivation, I love talking about Lost in Shangri-La, so as long as I have an audience, I’m motivated! … On the other hand, I will admit to some nerves before doing The Daily Show with Jon Stewart. In that case, I made a mantra out of the company motto of Earl Walter’s 1st Recon Battalion, which led the rescue in Shangri-La. That motto was “Bahala-Na,” which comes from the Tagalog dialect of the Philippines. It translates as “Come What May!” The show went pretty well, so I guess it worked!”

Carmindy, from TLC’s What Not to Wear and author of Crazy Busy Beautiful, has a different method:

Before I walk out on stage I say to myself “I Got This” then I walk out on stage and totally forget about myself. I think ONLY of exactly the message I want to relay to the audience and choose one woman who becomes my main focal point. Even as I scan the room talking I come back to her and think even if I can empower only her… my job is done.”

There is a way to make your dislike for public speaking disappear. For inspiration check out Mitchell Zuckoff and Carmindy working their magic.

Mitchell Zuckoff on The Daily Show

Carmindy’s Video Clips

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